Learning to Let Go (a Little) and Still Hold On
Navigating life with a grown child can feel like learning a whole new dance—one where love remains, but the steps change. In this honest reflection, I share the ups, downs, and ongoing lessons of adjusting to a new kind of parenting—one that honors space, connection, and the person our child is becoming.
“There are two gifts we should give our children: one is roots, the other is wings.”
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It’s Still Love, Just a Different Kind of Closeness
There’s something no one tells you about parenting: just when you think you’ve got it down, everything changes.
Raising a child comes with a steady rhythm—meals, milestones, school days, scraped knees, bedtime stories. But when they grow up and step into their own lives, that rhythm shifts. Suddenly, you’re not the one making the plans or holding the schedule. You’re on the outside looking in, trying to figure out how to stay close without stepping too far in.
That’s where I am right now. Trying to find my footing in this new phase of parenting—where my role isn’t clearly defined, and my instincts to protect or “fix” don’t always fit anymore.
What’s especially hard is trying to figure out where I belong in his world. Should I be more of a parent or less of one? Should I step back and be a friend, a quiet cheerleader, or just a safe place to land? Honestly, I don’t always know. Sometimes, I feel like I’m losing him a little—that there’s no space for me in his busy life—and that feeling of being left out? It hurts. It makes me want to hold on tighter, to pull him closer, even though I know that’s not the answer.
Letting go doesn’t come naturally to me. It feels counterintuitive when every fiber of your being is used to holding on. But I’m learning that giving space is also a form of love. And that sometimes, connection comes from quiet presence rather than constant action.
I’m still figuring it out—through trial and error, honest conversations, and moments where I just have to laugh (or cry) and keep trying. I remind myself often: this is my first time being the parent of an adult. Just like he’s growing into himself, I’m growing into this new version of motherhood.
There’s no perfect script. Just a whole lot of love, patience, and a willingness to evolve—together.
– Kate
I’d love to hear from you.
If you’re navigating your own journey with a grown child—figuring out your role, letting go, or just trying to stay connected—I hope you’ll share your story. We’re all learning as we go, and your experience might be just what someone else needs to hear today.
Real life, real experiences. Share your wisdom, your wins, or even the mess — because life after 50 is worth talking about.
